


Pyladea Triangulum

by marshv



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Cultural Differences, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Human Bill Cipher, Kissing, M/M, older dipper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-28 13:46:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5093009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marshv/pseuds/marshv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper is a sucker for old fashioned romantic gestures. Unfortunately, Bill doesn't understand human dating.</p><p>Edited 6/6/16</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pyladea Triangulum

**Author's Note:**

> From a headcanon on tumblr. I tried to keep them both in character but it's hard when you're doing fluff.
> 
> EDIT 6/6/16: The beginning was clunky and awkward to read so I rewrote some of it.

As soon as Dipper walked downstairs he was greeted with his uncle shoving an envelope in his face.

"Who's it from?" Dipper questioned, eyes studying the letter. The envelope was yellowed and stained, his name written on the front with bright red ink. Since when did he get mail?

Stan was already ambling away, calling over his shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen, "Who am I the mailman? Try opening it." 

There was something suspicious about the situation. Or maybe that was just his paranoia screaming at him. But the way his name was spelled out in messy blotches of ink on an old envelope was unsettling.

When he reentered his room, he tore it open, staring at the writing and, once he got over the initial unease of what was written, rolled his eyes and groaned.

"What the hell, Bill?"

Instantly the room shifted, reality warped, colors faded and Dipped was knocked to the ground. When he picked himself up onto his knees, Bill was floating in front of him, the smug grin that never seemed to leave was present on his face.

"Do you have to do that every time you want to talk to me?" he didn't bother to hide his displeasure and ran fingers through his newly disheveled hair.

"Come on, kid! You know I love it when you're on your knees for me!"

On instinct Dipper shot to his feet, crossing one arm and holding out the letter to Bill with the other, glaring without blinking.

"Aww you got my letter?" the demon grabbed the paper and scanned it over. "Aren't I so romantic? You're so lucky to have me!"

"Romantic? Are you kidding me?"

Bill, ignoring Dipper, cleared his throat and held the letter up, reading it aloud in a tone that was probably meant to be seductive but just came across as frightening—understandable considering the content of the letter.

"'Dear Pinetree, I want to cut up your body into tiny pieces and put you in a little box and carry you with me wherever I go. Except your head. I'd keep that in a jar so I can always see your beautiful face!' What's wrong with that? I thought you loved that cheesy romantic crap?"

"That's not romantic! That's homicidal!" Dipper threw his arms out to his sides in frustration.

"Pshhh." Bill waved his hand dismissively. "Hardly. If I was being homicidal you'd know it because you'd already be dead! This is quality poetic prose here, kid. I don't know what you're complaining about. I thought you wanted me to try to be romantic?"

The hands out at Dipper's sides moved to hide his face as he groaned. "I do but, please, just stop. I know you're trying but it's just weird ok? Human romance just isn't something you understand and I can accept that."

"No dice, toots. You said you liked this shit, so I'm gonna keep at it until I can come up with something that makes your knees weak."

One of Dipper's eyes peeked out from between his fingers just enough for Bill to read the weariness on his face.

"And I don't mean I'm going to break your knees or anything I mean figuratively I'm—"

"—I know what you mean Bill." he dropped his hands from his face and sighed. "Look, if you're trying to woo me, you've gotta stop making allusions to things that would kill or injure me, like chopping me up and eating me and drinking my blood and stuff like that, okay?"

Bill looked thoughtful, downright confused by the notion.

"So," he drew out the word, fingers tapping his chin as he spoke, "What _is_ romantic then?"

Dipper's train of thought stopped, mind drawing a blank as he blinked, dumbfounded. He quickly began turning over every movie he'd ever seen to no avail. What is romantic? He scratched the back of his head. Where was the memorized and long winded explanation he usually blurted out when trying to clarify something? Did he even have one on this subject?

"Well, it's expressing love in an overly emotional way. Going over the top and exaggerating your feelings like, saying you can't breathe without the other person!" ah there it was, "Or leaving little notes for them and each one lists a reason why you love them. It's looking at the person you love and feeling your breath catch in your throat because you never noticed one of the freckles they have on their cheek, and the realization that you're still leaning new things about them fills you with such joy that you become overwhelmed, your mouth hurts from smiling and every day you're with them you fall more and more in love until you complete each other's souls and provide meaning for their existence."

The starry eyed look in Dipper's eyes caught Bill off guard. He'd only seen Dipper make that face one other time which was when they'd watched Titanic together. A complete piece of garbage in Bill's mind, but seeing Dipper making such wistful sighs, then kissing Bill and nuzzling up under his chin, it made the three hours completely worth it.

Romance sounded... strange. It sounded painful and unnecessary and Bill didn't understand the difference between it and love. But, if it was something that made Dipper happy, it was something he had to do. He needed Dipper to be happy. Needed it.

Bill mentally catalogued every new piece of information, humming to himself, developing some semblance of an idea and eyes boring into the human's head before he gave an affected sigh and shook his head.

"Yeesh it seems complicated. But hey I'll see what I can do, kid. Just for you."

Dipper was touched by the sincerity in Bill's voice, already feeling his chest fluttering with the familiar butterflies Bill still gave him from time to time. But before he had a chance to respond, Bill was gone—disappeared in a flash of light and smoke that reminded Dipper of a Vegas magician.

After taking time to reorient himself when the color in the room came back, Dipper collapsed back onto his bed and stared at the wood grain on the attic ceiling.

His quick explanation of romance had left him feeling airy, reminiscent of how things were when he and Bill started dating, the awkwardness of it all. The newfound danger that came with the unpredictability of dating an demon was a huge risk, but a risk he was willing to take nonetheless.

The sensations Bill incited in him were unlike anything he'd ever experienced with anyone. The pleasant tingles he felt over every inch of his body so distinctive and yet so new. He felt alive. Bill lit a fire in him. He had lit it when Dipper was only a child. But what started off as fear changed and reformed into a completely baseless romantic longing that he couldn't get rid of no matter how much self hatred he forced on himself. After a while, he had no choice but to accept it. Dipper fell for Bill headfirst and he trusted the demon to catch him.

He did. What a whirlwind that caused.

-

Over the course of the next week Dipper found himself with several new letters everyday. Each one better than the last until, on Friday afternoon, he received one that completely ruined him. He became a blushing mess, weak knees, the whole nine yards.

"Dear Pinetree, my love and my life. Not a day goes by that I don't thank the universe for allowing me to hold you in my arms. For every day the sun shines I am gifted with the privilege of seeing your smiling face. All the beauty of humankind has led up to your creation. Now that you exist, I am floored by the power you have over me. I have waited for you since the beginning, and I'll love you until the end of time."

Holding the letter up to his face to hide the way he bit his lip, his cheeks turning red from how swayed he was, the words repeated themselves over and over again in his head until he had no choice but to sit down, squealing at an embarrassingly high pitch into the parchment.

"I take it I nailed it then?"

Dipper jolted, face and neck staining an even more obvious shade of red, embarrassment at being caught. His eyes peeked over the paper in his hands just enough to see Bill staring him down with a cocky grin on his face.

Dipper didn't even try to conceal the dreamy look in his eyes, wide and adoring all because of some cheesy prose. He nodded slowly before once again hiding his face and rocking side to side with a heavy beating in his chest, completely at a loss for words.

Hands touched his shoulders and his breath hitched. Dipper felt the press of lips against his ear, sharp teeth grazing the shell with a light scratch. He dropped the note on the floor, leaning forward and pulling Bill close with shaking arms. Dipper's body melted under his boyfriend's, taking in Bill's form and weight, pressing into him until the both of them fell back on the couch as breathy laughter came from the both of them.

"You're too easy, you know that?"

The words didn't do anything to pull Dipper from his mood. Bill waited for a response and, when he didn't get one, opened his mouth to slide his lips down the side of Dipper's face to the junction of his jaw and neck, leaving wet marks there. His arms massaged the human's shoulders, sharp fingers digging into the muscle while Dipper sighed.

"Bill," Dipper's head fell to the side in submission. "How did you come up with that?"

Bill paused his movements, briefly feeling self conscious at the answer, but burying any doubt under a mound of self-congratulatory triumph. Dipper was a shaking whimpering mess of heat and hormones and _Bill_ was the one who made that happen.

He flipped his bangs back and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind his ear before admitting the truth with a resigned smirk.

"Your human romance novels are some of the worst pieces of smut saturated garbage I've ever had to read! But even I gotta admit," Bill looked Dipper in the eye. "They have some pretty good ideas. I just pieced them together!"

The demon paused, pursing his lips and looking away. Dipper felt fingers squeezing his shoulders again.

"I might have come up with some of my own too. It's not like you're hard to figure out or anything. So obvious."

Dipper let out a soft snort and dragged Bill's face to his own, crashing their lips together in a sloppy mess of pink cheeks and swollen lips, content moans and trembling fingers invading their senses while they got lost in one another, no time to think. Dipper's mouth moved of his own accord between the pauses of sharp teeth attacking his lips.

"Bill," he panted, fists clenching the fabric of Bill's top. "I'm so lucky to have you."

Lips curled into a smile that Dipper would have called dangerous years ago. But now it just thrilled him. Dipper felt the movement on his face and shivered, feeling protected by the closeness.

Bill whispered. "Damn right you are, kid."


End file.
